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This was actually a work event: A celebration of area murals, some restored, some new, all of them in places you might not expect -- on the side of concrete buildings, in doorways of affordable-housing complexes, across from an Auto Zone, under a viaduct. Even the event site was unlikely: the parking lot of a building that houses the mentally and physically disabled.
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I wore a costume.
Now . . . I'm going to say something I never would have said, wouldn't have even whispered, as recently as two years ago. But there was something pretty liberating about being part of a work event that wasn't overtly ideological.
If you know anything about my job, you know that I spend a minimum of eight hours a day, every day, shoulder-deep in the throes of politics. I don't work for the government, but I work in a community (and am accountable to that community) that's in a political fight for its life. Its response to this fight has been a strident rise in nationalism. There are many who find themselves in a constant state of confrontation, and to give that up is to give up the ghost altogether. At times this response is downright inspirational, and I'm proud to work in a community that is unafraid to raise its voice and demand fairness, equity, and endurance.
At other times -- and in recognizing that I (or what I represent, or how some might interpret what I represent) am often the target of these confrontations -- it gets exhausting, depleting, and sometimes, for me, deeply deeply sad.
I don't want to wrestle these demons here. I've wrestled them internally for the last couple of years, and let me just say there's no easy answer to the questions.
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For a few hours of a sunny Saturday morning, groups came together from every background and simply made art. They sang, they danced, they drew, they paraded. Together. No, of course it's not as simple as that -- the personal is the political, and there's no pure space outside of ideology. I believe those things fully in both my heart and mind, but let me tell you it's a heck of a lot easier to be a graduate student talking about those issues tha
n a working person living under their weight, and within their inscription, 52 weeks a year.
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Because in the end, simultaneous with those truths, there's also this kid, and this shaker she just made, and the light, thin air around her that filled up her lungs, and mine too.
6 comments:
!!! That last paragraph just brought a burst of tears out of my eyes.
Really lovely post. I live in an area that is almost void of racial or ethnic diversity, with only a touch of economic diversity. On the surface all is well, but it only takes a little scratch underneath to see how fragile the bonds are that hold the community together. And that's white-bread suburban America. I can only imagine the exhaustion of the residents who are trying to keep it all together in Logan Square. Good luck and realize you are doing a great thing in a good place.
HEY! That "kid" goes to my school . . . super cute!
Sweet sweet sweet.
Thanks to all for your kind comments. You keep me afloat, to say the least.
Peggy, I love that your student attended! Thanks for distributing that flier. That little girl and her sister (not to mention their great mom) were *so* fantastic.
Just now getting caught up on blogs--what a beautiful post, Christy. I know you said that you could make a video akin to the "So you want to get a PhD in the humanities" about the non-profit sector and all its inanities. Well, I think this blog is the perfect antithesis to all of that. Glad your faith got a much-needed boost.
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